Happy New Year!
This is always one of my favorite blog posts to write because I love love love sharing thoughts and ideas with each other that help us focus on bettering ourselves, overcoming struggles/fears and doing more good in the world.
Before I jump in to all the things I want to focus on in 2018, let’s take a quick look at last year’s motto and resolutions to provide some context for how I got here.
My motto for 2017: Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.
I had good intentions, but I didn’t know how to let go of my perfectionist tendencies, because I didn’t really understand the role perfectionism, shame and fear had been playing in my life. As many of you know, Brené Brown has all the definitions on that, including this one:
“Many people think of perfectionism as striving to be your best, but it is not about self-improvement; it’s about earning approval and acceptance.”
By fall of 2017, I began working with a therapist certified in Brené’s work who has helped me to better understand myself, my shame triggers, where they came from and how long I’ve been living with them, and most importantly, WHAT TO DO ABOUT THEM.
So when it comes to new goals and resolutions, this very difficult, but empowering change I’ve been going through gives a lot of context to my direction for 2018.
My 2018 mantra: Choose the People Who Choose You.
I debated whether to focus on a single word (impact, wholehearted and action were at the top of my list), but ended on this phrase because it aligns so tightly to my core values: motherhood/family, courage, authenticity, faith and humor.
Since perfectionism is “other”-focused and gets us wrapped up in “what will people think?” this mantra reminds me that my goals are for ME, and to not overthink, but to think about those whose approval and acceptance I already have. Those are the people who matter and I want to show up for them, choose them back and embrace who I am in the process of adding value to their lives.
If you’re reading this, it means you’ve chosen me in some way. So let me know you’re here. Leave a comment and let me know where I can support you in return!
With my mantra as the foundation, here are my top 10 goals and resolutions for 2018…
- Read 12 books by Dec. 31, 2018. In 2017 I read 14 books on Audible and now I’m addicted. I love it because it fills my mind with good, positive thoughts and knowledge that I can apply to my life and share with others.
- Use my headspace app at least once every morning. I’ve learned SO much about mindfulness and putting it into practice when I get anxious has really impacted my ability to move forward in the face of fear.
- Work out 3 x per week. More to come on how my mindset toward fitness has changed, but for now, I’m focusing on getting to OrangeTheory two days per week and at least one other workout of my choice (at-home workouts, the gym or a run around the neighborhood).
- Run my 5th half marathon in May. It’s been almost 7 years since I last ran a half marathon. I think they’re the perfect distance for pushing yourself without investing the amount of time it takes to train for a full marathon. The best part is, I’m running it with a friend (I’ve always gone solo in the past)!
- Make more time for close friends and family using my Marco Polo app each week. Have you tried it yet?
- Practice self-compassion daily. There will always be something that doesn’t go as expected or is harder than I think it should be (mom life, right?). To keep myself out of shame, I’m going to write at least two sentences of compassionate self-talk in a notebook in at least one of these situations (as they arise) each day.
- Make date night a once-per-month priority and go on a vacation!!! Matt and I are making big plans this summer.
- Get pregnant maybe?? (IVF round 2, here we come)
- Support a cause I’m passionate about. Still narrowing this down… any recs?
- Cultivate wholeheartedness by letting go of the habits and beliefs that no longer serve me, practicing courage daily and applying what I’ve learned from Brené Brown classes, books and courses. I can’t wait to share more about this on my blog! It is life-changing stuff.
As you know, blogging is a huge arena for me to show up, be brave and put a lot of these goals into action, so I hope you’ll come along with me as they all unfold. If you’re really digging this, be sure to subscribe to my newsletter in the right sidebar (or bottom of this post if you’re viewing from your phone) so you’ll receive updates every time I publish a new blog post.
What are some of your goals for the year? Any on my list that we share?
If you’ve blogged or shared them, drop the link in a comment below. I’d love to read them and support you along the way.
Thanks for all your love in 2017. This next year is going to be incredible!
My intention in 2018 is to be more engaged in every area of my life- as a wife, mom, friend, blogger and in my career. I’m working to get promoted and pregnant in the new year- ha! 🙂
Here’s my post: http://www.livehalffullblog.com/2018/01/03/intention-setting-for-2018/
I love your focus of being more engaged! I have no doubt as you do this it will spread into the lives of the people you interact with. We all could benefit from being more engaged with each other, with our lives, with our WHY’s.
Sending lots of love and baby dust your way, Katie! XOX
Love this—so much resonated with me—vacations and date nights are high on my list too! Even your 2017 mantra hit home—although I’m not a perfectionist myself, I find that in many business and government arenas, this concept rings true and prevents progress!
Wishing you all that you want in the new year—and best wishes on your fertility journey!!
Thank you so much, Heather! Hope your 2018 is off to an amazing start.
I couldn’t agree more about perfectionism–the more I’ve learned about it, the more I see it everywhere. Sometimes just in small ways, but it’s really just a tactic for any of us to cover ourselves up when we buy into these messages that society tells us about who we’re “supposed to” be. It definitely prevents progress.
Thanks for your thoughts! xo
Great resolutions! I so love your look as well and I so want that choker!
Thanks, Briana! It’s so affordable. I wear it constantly. Hope you’re having a great 2018 so far. XO
Goals posts are some of my favorite to read AND write! Thanks for sharing your journey!
My word for this year is GRACE which is a reminder to let go of perfectionism and black-and-white thinking, and lean into God’s gift of grace while also lightening up on myself. I wrote about it here: http://kendranicole.net/2018-a-year-for-grace/
Here’s to a great year of chasing after our goals, learning more about ourselves, and becoming the women we were created to be.
I love your thoughts on GRACE, Kendra! Such a beautiful word to focus on and a powerful feeling to cultivate. I struggle with black-and-white thinking, too. Grace and self compassion are so necessary to overcome perfectionism and to embrace who we were created to be.
Heading over to read your post now. Thanks for sharing!
This is a great and realistic set of resolutions for 2018! Good luck and happy New Year beauty!
Thanks so much, Natali! Hope you’re having a happy 2018 so far!
Great resolutions and thanks for sharing them! ❤️
I will be taking some tips from you! ?
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
Thanks, Charmaine! XO
IVF round 2 for us this year too! Praying for success for you guys. If you want to walk through it together I know it helps having someone to vent to that truly “gets it”. As you know, infertility can be so lonely. Xo! @mrsordavis
OMG! This made my day. Are you able to leverage any embryos from storage, or are you starting from ground zero. I’ve had a couple of appointments with my doc already to determine which path to take. Still not sure yet. But so grateful to know you’re on this journey, too! I’d love to connect.
so exciting to read about your goals! you’re always a motivation to me! i have some of the same goals like read a book a month, get pregnant possibly, workout, and meditate! sending you all the positive vibes for a great year!
Thank you so much, Kait! How’s your year going so far? I have to keep reminding myself to take it one goal, one day at a time. So far, feeling pretty good about the small progress I’ve made. Hope you’re well! XO
YES!! Goals are meant for you! I used to get a little self-conscious on my goals and decisions, but now I think about it why does it matter what other thinks. The whole purpose of this process is so I can work on myself. Everyone is on a different path and it is okay that not everyone sees your perspective. I’m so glad to hear you are working on you!
Aw thanks so much, Rach! Totally agree with you. It’s hard to let go of the habit of worrying what others think, but we are SO powerful when we do. Hope your year is going great and wishing you all the success in the world with your goals. XO
Absolutely love this!! Your blog is amazing and excited to keep reading and following your journey 🙂
Thank you so much! That means the world.
I absolutely love this! Your blog is amazing and I’m excited to follow along with you.
I’m working on many things in my life, mainly to be more present in the moment. I always plan for the next thing, what happens next, where are we going next, what could happen…NEXT. I want to enjoy the moment and breathe.
Such good intentions, Audra! I’m working on being more present, too. It’s especially hard in moments that challenge me bec I just want to get OUT and do what comes next. But I swear there’s a secret super power we grow inside ourselves when we can sit in the painful or challenging moments as much as we do the joyful ones.
Thanks for sharing this with me and giving me some thoughts to reflect on. XOX
So happy I stumbled across your blog. So much of what you wrote in this post hits home with me. I’ve struggled with “perfectionism” my entire life and as an adult I realize I am still looking for that approval from others when I really should be focusing on being happy with myself. I’m also an OTF fan and IVF mama as well! I can’t wait to read more of your blog posts and I’ve subscribed so I can join in on your journey in 2018!
Aw thank you so much, Lynn! Sounds like we’re soul sisters. The perfectionism stuff is hard. Especially if you’ve lived it most of your life, like me. I have to practice letting go of it EVERY SINGLE DAY and being mindful that it’s always there.
I’m so grateful to have you along and hope to hear your thoughts on my perfectionism posts going forward. XOX
Before Christmas last year, my hubby and I got into an argument regarding prioritizing. While I don’t want to use one word for my goals in 2018 I know that it tops my list. I tend to want to do it all but I am finding out it’s okay to slow down and take a breather. I am also in the process of weeding out people that are taking away time from those that matter. I would also love to go on more date nights with the hubby and to read more. I read a lot last year before September and slowed down because I wanted to start a blog. As priority is the name of the game, I want to ensure that I also get to enjoy my other hobbies including reading, scrapbooking and swimming.
Maureen | http://www.littlemisscasual.com
All the feels! Prioritizing has always been a huge struggle for me, too. I want to do it ALL and have to constantly give myself permission to NOT do it all, but do what I can. Not that you’re asking for it, but if I could give you one piece of advice about blogging it would be: Don’t let it take you away from your other hobbies and priorities. It can be tough to balance everything and blogging can teach us so much about ourselves. I’ve come full circle and realized my other hobbies are just as much a part of me as blogging is. So never lose yourself in it. Just let it make you better! XO
Hi Amanda. Do you have a training regime for your half marathons? I’ve strived to be a runner for years, but can never seem to hold myself to it (hello, Obliger), and originally planned a goal to run my first half marathon by 25. Welp, almost 5 years later and here I am (not running). I’m working on holding myself more accountable in my personal goals and would like to (hopefully) run my first for my 30th birthday at the end of April. Recommendations for training? Thanks!
Hi Sarah! I’m so happy you asked. I’m going to share my training plan in a blog post this month. I haven’t always considered myself a “runner,” so I can completely relate to putting it off. Not to get too deep, but if I’ve learned anything from my past trainings and years of running, it’s that I used to run because I wanted to be perceived as a runner. I wanted to be admired for it. Now I’m finally doing it because the training forces me to practice courage every single time I put on my running shoes. So as part of your training, I’d recommend getting clear with yourself on why you want to do it. Once you have that reason (your WHY) the training will be FUN. You just show up and follow the plan.
Can’t wait to hear more from you and happy early birthday in April!! XO