Since I haven’t been diligent about keeping a pregnancy journal or taking pregnancy progress photos, I thought this would be a fun post I’d enjoy looking back on after baby arrives. I’ve tried to just live in the moment, and I have, but I also know how bad my memory can be and there have been some really special moments I never want to forget. (If you’re interested in my really bizarre pregnancy aversions, check out this article on TheOutfit.com.)
1.Matty putting his face right up on my belly and talking to our little guy. He usually says things like, “Hellooo. Are you in there?” and “Are you ready to come see us soon? Hope you don’t think we’re too weird.” This melts my heart every. single. time. It is the absolute best.
2. Matty and I referring to “the belly” as if it’s a person. Obvs there is a person in there, but we often say things like, “The belly wants to eat at Cubby’s tonight,” or “The belly made me do it,” and “The belly missed you today.” Ha.
3. Movements! They never get old. I was about 19 weeks when I first felt little kicks. We were in Maui. Now they feel more like turns and rolls. I love them at 1 a.m. when I can’t sleep and I’m wondering what all the wiggling is about. When I don’t feel them for a while, I poke at “the belly” and Matt always tells me to “stop waking him up.” :) This is going to be fun.
4. Discussing names. We’ve struggled with this from the beginning. We have a list of girl names we love and finding the right name for our little gentleman has been difficult, but one of the more fun conversations of our entire marriage. Luckily, we think we found one. Just waiting for him to arrive to call it good. We hope we make him proud.
5. Realizing we are having a baby. There’s never been a point in the entire pregnancy that we haven’t paused to think about what’s really happening. It’s still so amazing. There’s a human in there! It’s hard to picture our life with a baby and each night after dinner we stop, look at each other, and say, “I can’t believe this is really happening. All the sudden he’ll just be here hanging out with us.”
6. Talking about what he’ll look like and what traits he’ll get from both of us. I keep expecting (and hoping) he’ll get everything from Matty—his dark brown hair, olive skin, goofy sense of humor and natural self-confidence. And I’ll make up for the rest. :)
7. Looking for opportunities to save money instead of buying everything new (from maternity clothes to baby stuff to fixing up the nursery room). This may seem strange, but it’s so fulfilling and has made the transition less overwhelming. Maybe we (or I) are finally “growing up,” but I’ve literally been extremely budget conscious since the day I found out I was pregnant. I’ve surprised myself with how much I’ve welcomed the change.
8. Feeling adored wherever I go. Even though I’ve struggled with some body image issues during pregnancy, I’ve really enjoyed how nice everyone is, including strangers. When I go to the store, people smile and ask me questions about when I’m due, if this is my first, how I’ve been feeling, etc. Something about the miracle of creating life is infectious, I guess. I’ve loved that.
9. Jammies. I’ve hated getting dressed every day, for various reasons, but one thing I never get tired of wearing is comfortable, stretchy pajamas. Since I started maternity leave, I’ve spent several days in my pjs and I don’t feel bad about it one bit. I realize my body is doing amazing things and I deserve to sit back and enjoy it as much as possible.
10. Looking back on the IVF process and appreciating the miracle we’ve been blessed to experience. I still get anxious some mornings until I feel those little movements (he’s not here until he’s here!). The day we did the embryo transfer, I came home and wrote down everything that happened that day and all my thoughts and feelings about it. Here’s a small excerpt (written June 26, 2015)…
I hope this little baby embryo inside decides to hang in there with me for the next nine months, but even if he doesn’t, I felt a small bond to him today. I couldn’t believe he was inside me and being able to see him on the ultrasound was so amazing and humbling. I felt like a mother. Even if this doesn’t end with a viable pregnancy, for the first time, I had a small moment where I actually felt like a mother. I want the opportunity to love and care for this little baby so much and I hope and pray with all my heart that I will get the chance to do that.
We already knew he was a boy because we had done genetic testing before the transfer. Knowing I’m days away from finally meeting him just brings me to tears. I seriously cannot believe it.
I happened upon a quote on Instagram the other day that said, “Remember the days you prayed for the things you have now.” I will never forget how much we have hoped and prayed for this baby.
Thank you so much for your support, advice and positive influences over these past nine months. It’s been an interesting, challenging time in my life, even when it was going well, and I’m just grateful to be where I am, imperfections and all. I can’t wait to share more with you when this little man finally arrives.